"That's right, dear. Helmets are for wussies."

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Jimmy Was Last Seen Entering Earth's Orbit

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Must We Teach Name-Calling at This Age?

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"Look what I found livin' in the chimney!"

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Babies May Shift During Flight

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Poor Little Guy Didn't Know What Was in for Him

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"We're not leaving here without a lawsuit."

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Just Wait 'Til They Do a Triple Axel

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Is Cocomalt a Euphemism for Kiddie Porn?

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Stay Classy, Disco Era

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"A little bird flu never killed anyone...What, it did? My bad."

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The Makings of a Future Repressed Memory

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"Protect your children against disease-carrying insects"...with disease-causing chemicals

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This End Down

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"This is what you'd look like stuffed and mounted."

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"Tonight in the toddler octagon..."

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A Little Nudge Will Bruise You

In the '40s, Social Studies Was Replaced by POW Burial Class

"Whatever you do, try not to look like eucalyptus."

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Chain Your Kid to the Bathtub, Turn on the Water and Walk Away: Parenting Is Easy!

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Someone's Enjoying This Way Too Much

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"You stay up there until you've conquered that vertigo."

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