Unless You Want Your Kids to Suck at the Watusi, You'll Ply The with Sugar

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Kids Read the Darnedest Things

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Death Had His Eye on Little Cindy

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In the '80s, Kids Knew the Importance of Muscle Mass

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"Just take shallow breaths and you'll be fine."

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"And that's why your sister should've taken swim lessons..."

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"I dunno, Dad, there could've been more sex."

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If You Don't Strap a Gas Engine to Your Child's Wagon, You Are a Bad Parent

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Bobby Had Finally Mastered the Vulcan Nerve Pinch

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Worst Centerpiece Ever.

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"I'll let you know when I've had enuffphhh!!..."

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"Do you like movies about gladiators?"

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"Cheese it, the cops!'

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Who Needs Seat Belts When You Have Ball Gags?

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'Saw' Trap for Kids!

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"This is how you make sure there's no bullet in the chamber."

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Glove Ends Thumb-Sucking...Forever

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"And to the right of the plane you'll see Sally in freefall."

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Someone's Getting Smothered in Her Sleep Tonight...

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Little Mikey Was Found Smothered in Peeps

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Head Butt: The Kids' Game Where First Concussion Wins

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